November 6, 2008 at 11:48am
Eavesdropping is sometimes unavoidable. Recently, a conversation between three men at a local café presented one of those situations. The four of us were the only ones there.
One of the guys lost his long-time partner sometime in the summer. Now he is battling with his former partner's mother and sister over a house the two men owned in Hamlin. They didn't have a will and mother and sister want "their share," he said.
The scenario is not an unfamiliar one to gay couples. Even if this man and his partner did have a will, it might not survive a court battle in some states. And then there is the cost of the legal fight.
Some surviving gay partners have to weigh their options carefully. Being kicked out of a home you helped pay for is not unheard of in the LGBT community.
While the celebration of Barack Obama's victory continues, the success of California's Proposition 8 and similar propositions in two other states, gives many gay rights advocates something to think about.
How long will it take?
To many gay people, opposition to same-sex marriage is a bit perplexing. In a society that puts a premium on long-term committed relationships, it doesn't seem to make sense.
Oh yeah, the gay thing.
Being gay is not a lifestyle choice. Coloring your hair or driving a Lincoln instead of a VW are a lifestyle choices.
Being gay is as much of a mystery for most gay people as being straight is for heterosexuals.
It's being reported that some county clerks in California have already begun denying same-sex couples licenses to marry.
Gay-rights advocates are promising to challenge the decision on Proposition 8.
In the meantime, Obama's victory, as important as it is, doesn't mean that all bigotry has vanished from the face of the earth.
The hope is, and there is hope despite Proposition 8, that we will someday look back on the furor over same-sex marriage as just another page in our country's young history.
We will get there.
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Comments for "MACALUSO: The skunk at the picnic" (3)
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John said on Nov. 06, 2008 at 12:52pm
Oh please.. In that case don't get married. Nobody is telling gays not to live together (and nobody should), but the point of getting married is to found a family, which is meant to include "the raising of children" - and it is NOT possible for gays to have children between themselves: Even if they adopt or raise the children of one of them from a previous heterosexual relationship, what is clear is that you need, at the origin, a MAN and a WOMAN to have that child(ren). So either way, you need the intervention of a man AND a woman to be able to found a family somewhere along the way. And that's what the marriage is supposed to do: ensure an efficient and protected environment for the birth and raising of children; and thus the perpetuation of the species. However, nobody is, nor should be, stopping people from doing what they want in the privacy of their homes; but please let's remember that marriage is NOT a PRIVATE institution, it is a PUBLIC one linking two individuals with the rest of the society.
Georgia NeSmith said on Nov. 06, 2008 at 1:53pm
It is a false premise to say that the sole purpose of marriage is to provide stability for children.
In fact, the laws governing marriage also ensure that individuals within the marriage not be left to their own devices in the event of illness, unemployment, and the like.
Marriage also secures commitment from each individual to provide for the support of the other, in whatever ways that support is to be given. For example, whether there are children present or not, the husband/wife is obligated to care for the other. That is why we provide alimony in the case of divorce when there is a significant difference in income between the marriage partners, EVEN IN THE ABSENCE of children.
Marriage also provides for partners to make decisions about the other person's care when the other person is in one way or another incapacitated.
Marriage provides for the inheritance of property, whether or not children are presence.
So essentially, John, your comment has no legal foundation.
chuck R. said on Nov. 13, 2008 at 11:58am
I'd like to see more discussion (rationally only) regarding the idea that "gay is a lifestyle". While I don't agree with that statement, many still say that, and some even say that it's a lifestyle "just like being straight is". What do you think?
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